Do you remember the first joke you heard as a kid? Me either, but one thing we all remember is how jokes make us feel. Kids have a great sense of humor and that childlike innocence is now available with these funny jokes for kids.
They are simple two-line jokes but that’s what makes them perfect for kids. They’re easy to remember and the punchlines are so out there that it’s enough to make kids AND adults laugh. Tell the following 87 funny jokes to your kids or have them try them out on you and I bet laughter and fun will ensue. Enjoy!
Let the jokes begin!
1) Do you have holes in your underwear?
No? So how do you put your legs through?
2) Doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room!
Tell him I can’t see him right now.
How do you like the funny jokes for kids so far?
3) How are false teeth like stars?
4) How can you tell if it’s been raining cats and dogs?
When you step in a poodle!
5) How do all the oceans say hello to each other?
6) How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
7) How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
8) How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it!
9) How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
10) How do you throw a party on Mars?
11) How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
12) How does a scientist freshen her breath?
13) How does a vampire start a letter?
Tomb it may concern…
14) How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.
15) How does the moon cut his hair?
16) How much did the shopkeeper sell his dead batteries for?
Nothing, they were free of charge!
17) Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
“Dill with it.”
What do you think of these funny jokes for kids so far?
18) What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
19) What building in your town has the most stories?
The public library.
20) What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner!”
21) What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
22) What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
“That hit the spot!”
23) What did the fisherman say to the magician?
“Pick a cod, any cod.”
24) What did the frog order at McDonald’s?
French flies and Diet Croak.
25) What did the policeman say to his tummy?
“Freeze. You’re under a vest.”
26) What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
“Do you smell carrots?”
27) What did the traffic light say to the car?
“Don’t look. I’m about to change.”
28) What do birds give out on Halloween?
29) What do kids play when they can’t play with a phone?
30) What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
31) What do you call a blind dinosaur?
32) What do you call a cow with no legs?
33) What do you call a cow with two legs?
34) What do you call a dog magician?
35) What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
36) What do you call a fly without wings?
37) What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.
38) What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop!
39) What do you call a pile of cats?
40) What do you call an alligator in a vest?
41) What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
42) What do you call two bananas on the floor?
43) What do you call two birds in love?
44) What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
45) What do you get from a pampered cow?
46) What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
47) What does one volcano say to the other?
“I lava you!”
50) What event do spiders love to attend?
51) What goes up and down but doesn’t move?
52) What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
53) What is a computer’s favorite snack?
54) What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?
Moo Year’s Eve.
55) What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
56) What’s brown and sticky?
57) What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
58) What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
59) What music frightens balloons?
60) What room doesn’t have doors?
61) What sound to porcupines makes when they kiss?
Where does the time go when reading funny jokes for kids!?
62) Where do cows go for entertainment?
To the moo-vies!
63) When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
When the punchline is a parent.
64) When is it time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty (2:30)
65) Where do bees go to the bathroom?
At the BP station!
66) Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost her.
Why are these jokes for kids so funny!?
67) Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them!
68) Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
69) Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!
70) Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
71) Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
She will Let It Go.
72) Why did Darth Vader turn off one light?
He prefers it on the dark side.
73) Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it was not peeling well.
74) Why did the girl throw a stick of butter out the window?
To see butter-fly.
75) Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
76) Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.
77) Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
78) Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
79) Why did the student eat his homework?
His teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
80) Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
81) Why didn’t the duck pay for the lip balm?
He wanted to put it on his bill.
82) Why do watermelons have fancy wedding?
Because they cantaloupe.
83) Why is there a fence around a cemetery?
People are dying to get in.
84) Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9
Oh no! We’ve almost reached the end of funny jokes for kids!
85) Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants!
86) Why was the weightlifter upset?
She worked with dumbbells.
87) Why can’t you ever trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
I hope you enjoyed these funny jokes for kids!
Please share these funny jokes for kids with your friends and family.