Dating apps and websites are successful because they let you meet new people, find a casual date, or even find new friends from the comfort of your laptop or smartphone. Tinder has been leading the pack and helps millions of candidates in the dating pool but the key to standing out is having clever or funny Tinder bios.
As you can imagine, there are some Tinder profiles that are true gems and for that reason, they’ve been immortalized on the internet. Here are 39 funny Tinder bios that are so hilarious, they might having you swiping right with laughter!
1) Let the funny Tinder bios begin!
“Am I cute? No. Do I have a nice personality? Also, no.”
“A$$ and kitties. On the topic of nude pics: I just want to remind everyone of a little movie called TITANIC…a girl in 1912 has her naked body drawn in a sketchbook by a random dude that no one’s ever heard of, locks the drawing in a safe on a boat, the BOAT SINKS, and her nude picture STILL ends up on television 84 years later. No one is safe.”
“I’m cute but I’ve never lost an arm wrestle. No thanks to spicing up your dying relationship with a [censored]. If I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I’d go to dinner with my parents.”
“Don’t buy Colgate whitening toothpaste. It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days. It’s been 2 weeks and I’m still Asian.”
“I don’t have Ebola.”
“For the love of God, someone please date me so I can stop bringing my mom to costume parties.”
“I got a B+ in Human Sexuality in college, so let’s just say I know my way around a *checks poorly scribbled notes* cliboris.”
“Have you ever said “[censored] the police?” Well now’s your chance.”
“Hello ladies, look at the last guy you matched, now back to me, now back to the last guy you matched, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped leaving his bio blank, and had better pictures, he could be like me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on Tinder with the man of your dreams. What’s in your hand, back to me. I have it. It’s a pizza with your favorite toppings on it. Look again, the pizza is now your favorite dog. Anything’s possible when you match me on Tinder.”
“Hey you’re pretty cute but you know what would make your face look even better? If I sat on it.”
“Hi guys I am actually 11 years old but I need a girlfriend that can be in my Minecraft let’s play vids so I can use u for clickbait and get more views thanks.
“Hiking, sleeping, Netflix, running, baking, and tea. Oh my god, am I a 40-year-old woman??? What I lack in technique, I make up for in enthusiasm, though my technique has gotten pretty good. Let’s talk sports, dogs, and the ending for Infinity War.”
“Honestly, I’m just here looking for my parents. They disappeared one night a few years ago and I heard I might be able to find them here. Please contact me if you have any pertinent information.”
“I don’t even care if you’re a murderer at this point.”
“If we meet up for drinks and u don’t look like your profile picture you’re buying until u do.”
“I’ll carve our initials onto a tree on our first date, it’s the most romantic way to let you know I have a knife.”
“I’m a Victoria’s Secret model, it’s just a secret that not even Victoria knows.”
“I’m in a wheelchair so I’ll never walk out of your life.”
“95% into meeting strangers. 5% hoping I get murdered before 26 so I don’t have to find new health insurance.”
“I like it rough.”
“I’ve learned that men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If I see you without an erection, I’ll make you a sandwich.”
“Just a Sac town girl with nacho cheese in her hair. NBA.
“Married. Fourteen kids and looking for someone to sneak into my bedroom when my husband isn’t in town. Just kidding. I just want someone to agree to go to my cousins wedding with me this summer so my family stops questioning my sexuality. Please message me your “wedding date resume” in MLA format if you’re interested.”
“You know what I can’t stand? Sorry, let me reemphasize. You know what, I can’t stand.”
“Last time I was someone’s type I was donating blood.”
“I like the bots because for a short time it feels like someone actually likes me.”
“Look, here’s the deal…I work a lot, I need back massages, but I don’t work enough to afford back massages – this is where you come in.”
“Looking for the dad that walked out on me.”
“Married. A couple of kids. Looking for some side action. Just kidding. Single. Three Tamagotchi’s. Looking for someone to bring to family events so they’ll stop thinking something’s wrong with me.”
“I may like being chocked but sea turtles don’t…pick up your [censored] trash.”
“Murder me in the library of an old Victorian house during a thunderstorm or don’t waste my [censored] time.”
“I’m not the type of girl you have to hold in farts for, but rather the type of girl you want to hold in farts for.”
“Notable life achievements: Can cook amazing instant noodles. Semi-professional bathroom singer. Has never been in jail before (except when playing monopoly.”
“Picture this, we’re on a date. You take me to a generic restaurant of my choosing when we go out for a drink. After a few, I’m a bit tipsy so we head back to my car. Cars on fire, you’re shocked and ready to call 911. You look back at me, I have two marshmallows on a stick ready for roasting and more alcohol. You blush, we cuddle together while my blazing care keeps us warm. We joke we laugh, you’re about to lean in for a kiss…I chloroform you and rob you. Wasn’t even my car on fire.”
“I recently broke up with my girlfriend because she didn’t know how I liked my coffee. I like my coffee the same way I like my women. Without other people’s [censored] in it.”
36) Oh no! We’ve almost reached the end of funny Tinder bios…
“I sexually identify as a microwave dinner because I am ready in 5 minutes and don’t look anything like my photos.”
“[censored], I’d date me.”
“Swipe the direction of the one you think is more attractive. Plot twist: I win both ways.”
“You want a queen? Earn one. You want a [censored]? Buy me 3 shots of tequila.”
I hope you enjoyed these funny Tinder profiles!
Please share these Tinder bios with your friends and family.