If the Internet was cast in a movie like ‘The Matrix’, Google would certainly be the Oracle. Every day, people enter some funny Google searches and ask questions about everything and anything and Google does its best to provide websites that most likely have the answers you need.
No time to scroll through the list? Watch the video instead!
After a few Friday afternoon refreshments at SearchFactory HQ, the staff started talking about the crazy things they’ve come across during their ongoing arm-wrestling match with Google almighty. One thing led to another and the next minute, they were behind the wheel of Google’s Keyword Planner to see just weird it gets. Using exact match targeting, they were able to collect worldwide average monthly search volume for a bunch of random search queries. The Results? You’ll soon discover that search terms people plug away into Google are sometimes hilarious but some are also downright scary!
So there you have it. I wonder if Google employees ever review funny Google searches on a slow Friday afternoon for a few laughs? Who knows…
The crazy [censored] people search for on Google
“It looks like American television writers are running out of ideas to kill off their main characters and miraculously bring them back to life again. Revenge ‘cough’ Pretty Little Liars ‘cough’.”
Funny Google searches:
“How to hide a dead body” – 1,000 avg. monthly searches
“How to get away with murder” – 1,900 avg. monthly searches
“It’s not you, it’s your cat. The problem with them is that they promise you a different kind of forever, a ‘forever alone’ type of forever.”
Funny Google searches:
“Cat Dating” – 110 avg. monthly searches
“How to make my cat love me” – 390 monthly searches
“Why can’t you monsters just leave Gaga alone? As far as I know, the only big flop she has to worry about is her new album.”
Funny Google searches:
“Lady Gaga naked” – 135,000 monthly searches
“Is Lady Gaga a man?” – 18,100 monthly searches
“These statistics were conducted a week before Valentine’s Day with more than half of the numbers coming from Taylor Swift. Don’t worry Taylor, you and Harry are never, ever, ever, getting back together!”
Funny Google searches:
“How to ask a guy out” – 14,800 monthly searches
“How to mend a broken heart” – 9,900 monthly searches
Single and ready to mingle?
“The difference between single guys and guys who have ‘put a ring on it’, is that they can easily take their sandwich maker back to the shops when it’s faulty. You should have given yours a trial run first.”
“How to have an affair” – 5,400 monthly searches
“Why did I get married?” – 40,500 monthly searches
“If I had a dollar for every time I complained about my job, I’d probably still be in my job because I’m still complaining about it.”
“I hate my job” – 22,000 monthly searches
“How to win the lottery” – 40,500 monthly searches
“Note to the children of our generation: The least you could do is help your grandparents out when it comes to technology. And accept their friend request while you’re at it!”
“How do I use Google” – 1,000 monthly searches
“How do I Google something?” – 4,400 monthly searches
“With so many adults having access to a laptop and the internet, childhood memories were immediately shattered and The Grinch gained thousands of new Twitter followers.”
“Is Santa real?” – 60,500 monthly searches
“The same reason why women paint their nails; it’s just for decoration.”
“Why do men have nipples?” – 18,000 monthly searches
More funny [censored] people search for on Google
“Looks like 16 and pregnant is going to be on air for a very LONG TIME! Imagine the spin-off? ’32 and a Grandma’.”
“How to Sext” – 22,200 monthly searches
“Am I pregnant?” – 60,500 monthly searches
“Seems like ‘Breaking Bad’ has inspired a new generation to break out their beakers, gloves, and underground meth labs. At least they’re smart enough to cover their online tracks!”
“How to cook Meth” – 6,600 monthly searches
“How to delete search history” 6,600 monthly searches
“According to doctors, Twerk is an incurable illness inherent in young women craving fame and attention. Symptoms include vigorous thrusting of hips, a wild, uncontrollable tongue and a general lack of self-respect.”
“How to become famous” – 33,100 monthly searches
“How to twerk” – 165,000 monthly searches
“How guys googled: a) Should I get a tattoo. b) How to remove tattoos. How girls googled: a) Should I get a tattoo of my boyfriend’s name because he’s my Forever? b) How do I remove a tattoo of my ex’s name, who I thought was my Forever?”
“Should I get a tattoo?” – 2,400 monthly searches
“How to remove tattoos” – 1,900 monthly searches
We’ve almost reached the end of funny Google searches!
“Life: Feeling bored? Count to a 100 while I hide. Find me, I’ll let you live for eternity! Anonymous: What if I don’t want to live for eternity? Life: Then YOLO. Duh.”
“I am bored” – 60,500 monthly searches
“What is the meaning of life?” – 74,500 monthly searches
“We all know you’re just going to temporarily deactivate your Facebook, get back online with a selfie saying ‘I’m back! Anyone miss me?!'”
“What is Facebook?” – 22,200 monthly searches
“How to delete Facebook” – 90,500 monthly searches
“Mobile phones can be such fiddly gadgets! Someone texted ‘I’m in Luv with u xoxo’ to their second cousin that was actually meant for his first cousin, but hey, close enough!”
“Can I marry my cousin?” – 590 monthly searches
“I kissed my brother” – 720 monthly searches
“This classic Happy Days idiom may hold some relevance today.”
“Jump the shark” – 9,900 monthly searches
We’ve all done funny Google searches for terms we were curious about and I’m sure we’ve been surprised at how accurate or funny the search results were.
Please share these Google searches people search for on Google with your friends and family.
