My friends often say that I was born in the wrong decade because I’m infatuated with everything retro. While I’m not a child of the 40s, 50s, or even the 60s, I love the era because it seems like life was simpler and less stressful. Vintage humor is the perfect marriage of retro images along with snarky, sarcastic commentary that is sure to make you laugh.
We scoured the web and curated some of the best vintage pics and memes you will ever find. I hope you enjoy the following retro images with some clever sarcastic humor that will tickle your funny bone. If you enjoy them, don’t forget to share it on social media!
1) Let the vintage humor begin!
“A woman’s work is never done in this house, it’s rarely even started.”
“All I am asking is please keep your mouth shut when you’re speaking to me.”
“Am I a good mother Susan? My name’s Amy.”
“…And yet despite the look on my face, you’re still talking…”
5) Tiddles also realized it was vintage humor!
“At this point, Tiddles realized mother was off her meds again.”
“Because it’s not good to keep things bottled up.”
“Karma’s a [censored], but I quite like her.”
“I don’t care about my prince charming, where are the damn forest animals that clean?”
10) Vintage humor is served…or poured.
“Dinner is poured.”
“A dirty house is a sign of a brilliant party!”
“Do I look like I care?”
“Drama shield. Activate!”
“Embarrass your friends with Instagram! Actual photo! A friend will ask you what is wrong after a long night of drinking. A good friend will hold your hair for you when you get sick. But a best friend will encourage you to drink more than you did on your 21st birthday so they can take uber hipster pictures of you on Instagram! Share your special moment with the world!”
15) Regardless, I hope you enjoy this vintage humor.
“I’ve enjoyed not hearing from you.”
“Every day is a @#%& gift!”
“Everything happens for a reason! Sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.”
“If you’re going to kick ass, you need kickass shoes.”
“When I grow up I want to be a man. Don’t be silly, you can’t do both!”
20) Vintage humor that let’s your imagination run wild.
“Guess where I’m tattooed.”
“She had not yet decided whether to use her power for good…or for evil.”
“Hard times call for hard liquor.”
“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m a [censored].”
“I heard about history repeating itself but this Monday thing has got to stop!”
25) Enjoy the vintage humor. Thanks!
“Hi. I don’t care. Thanks.”
“Honey…Does this dress make my butt look fat? No!”
“That’s a horrible idea. What time?”
“Housework is a snap since I realized…Hey! I’m a guy!”
“I believe in annoyed at first sight.”
30) A little vintage humor for tomorrow.
“If there was a pill to cure procrastination, I would probably take it tomorrow.”
“It was a perfect marriage. She didn’t want to and he couldn’t.”
“Didn’t I just feed them yesterday?” Like this image? Order a fridge magnet.
“I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
“Lord, give me the strength to tolerate this fake [censored].”
35) A dose of vintage humor for miss cranky pants.
“No more “[censored] pills” for you, Little Miss Crabby [censored].”
“I’m not needy. I’m want.”
“I’ve never been a millionaire but I know I’d just be a darling at it.”
“No offense but I just don’t have the energy to deal with your needy [censored] today.”
“It’s not spying if you’re holding a dust rag.”
40) Delivering vintage humor one meme at a time.
“Oh God,…Please don’t let him come home before my online shopping deliveries arrive!”
“It’s okay…I didn’t want a real life anyway.”
“Pack your [censored], [centored].”
“Parenting…When messing up your own life just isn’t enough.” Like this image? Order a fridge magnet.
44) Crazy vintage humor, that is…
“It’s not PMS. I’m just crazy.”
“I prefer to call myself…”Delightfully difficult”.”
“Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.”
“Ran into my ex…Put it in reverse and hit him again.”
“I really didn’t mean to push all your buttons. I was just looking for mute!”
“Remember darling, jewelry prevents headaches.”
50) Vintage humor that is 100% relatable retro goodness.
“Same [censored], different century.”
“When I say the word “Exercise”, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.”
“See? Cleaning one thing just makes everything else look dirtier.”
“She looked so awake…So alive! Was it caffeine or botox?”
“So many men, so many reasons to sleep alone.”
55) Relatable vintage humor.
“Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.”
“I’m sorry, but I didn’t order a glass of your opinion.”
“Sure, I set a bad example…Fortunately, my kids pay no attention to me.”
“I’d take a bullet for you. Not in the head, but like the leg or something.”
“Talking to a woman is just like climbing a mile-high cliff. Watch what your hands are doing and NEVER look down.”
60) All this vintage humor is free!
“If I can’t see the price, everything’s on sale!”
“This is not Facebook and I am not your friend.”
“Time for a festive nervous breakdown…”
“What type of beverage is this crap?! Where is the [censored] beers!!!! What a tosser.”
64) Give her more vintage humor.
“Uhm…You’re doing it wrong: Give it to her. She can enjoy an instant massage with this new cordless massager. Fits in a pocket or purse. Just twist the base and away she goes. Gives fast, penetrating comfort. Makes strained, sore muscles feel like new. Stimulates circulation, too. Five minutes does the job. Give it to her. Ideal gift. Also good for you. Ladies, $8.95. Men’s, $9.95 postpaid.”
“I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning. Just not as it applies to me.”
“A virgin birth I can believe, but finding three wise men?”
“I wish I was as thin as my patience.”
“Welcome to marriage.”
“What am I making for supper? Why, sweetie, I’m making whatever the hell I want served with a side of eat it or starve.” Like this image? Order a fridge magnet.
70) Vintage humor that will stay out of your personal space.
“When my children tell me they want me out of their personal space, I like to remind them that they came out of my personal space.” Like this image? Order a fridge magnet.
“Why order pizza when this took only five hours and will go completely unappreciated by my children?”
“I wish running from my problems burned more calories.”
“With a little bit of mascara and vodka, anything is possible.”
74) Oh no! We’re almost at the end of this list of retro humor…
“Don’t worry darling, you didn’t burn the beer!”
“Yes dear, daddy is allergic to peanut butter.”
“You know me…Busy, busy!”
77) I hope you enjoyed all of this vintage humor!
“You’re about as pleasant as an itchy [censored]…”
Please share this vintage humor with your friends and family.