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Being a new mom isn’t easy nor is being a new dad. Parents with newborns or even toddlers already know that sleepless nights are going to happen. Bottle feedings in the middle of night or dealing with a child that just won’t sleep can take its toll on our energy levels.
Here, 25 sleep-deprived moms share some of the things they’ve done while running on little to no sleep and their confessions are hilarious!!
1) Sleep-deprived moms: “I was finally putting myself to bed so I wiped off my makeup and took off my earrings. I was so sleep deprived, though, that I put the dirty makeup wipe in my jewelry box and threw away my earrings.”
“Sleep deprivation. It hurts.”
2) “I made coffee without any coffee grinds. It wasn’t until the second sip that I realized I was just drinking hot water.”
“Tired. Just so tired.”
3) “I left the house with my nursing bra on both sides flopped down.”
4) “I filled a sippy with milk and handed it to the dog. When he didn’t take it I got annoyed and said, ‘Well? Here you go!’ It took me a full five seconds to realize he wasn’t the 2-year-old.”
“Do you know that awesome feeling when you get into bed, fall right to sleep, stay asleep all night, and wake up feeling refreshed? Me neither.”
5) “I grabbed my husband’s crotch — HARD — as he was rolling over because I thought he was the baby about to roll out of bed.”
6) “One night, after weeks and weeks of no sleep, I genuinely believed the baby was crying because my husband had taken money from him. My husband guided me back to bed and we had great fun laughing about it the next day.”
“I take a nap right here.”
7) “I tried to hug the guy who came to set up our internet as he was leaving. I was so tired and used to hugging visitors when they left. He looked at me like I was nuts.”
“Did you know…the only cure for sleep-deprived moms is sleep.”
8) “In the middle of the night I tried to change my daughter, but ended up putting a clean diaper on over the dirty one.”
9) “During my first month as a new mom I texted my husband (who was in bed next to me) to ask him where he was.”
“How do I put this? You will never ‘sleep in’ again.”
10) “I had to go a whole day at work like this…”
11) “I’d been up two days after coming home from the hospital and realized that I hadn’t eaten, so I made frozen waffles — and poured dish soap on them instead of syrup.”
“I suffer from a sleeping disorder…called children.”
12) “I finished a full grocery shopping trip, then fastened the baby into her car seat and drove away — leaving all of the groceries in the cart in the parking lot.”
“Sleep-deprived moms.”
13) “I once tried to put on a pull-up instead of underwear after showering. Then I cried when I couldn’t get it on.”
14) “I walked out to my car and strapped my son into his car seat before I realized that I didn’t have pants on.”
“I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult.”
15) “One night I realized my whole family was in the room with me but no one was holding the baby. Panicked, I yelled, ‘Where’s the baby?!’ My husband looked straight at me and said, ‘Um, honey, you’re nursing her.'”
“Thanks for getting out of bed fives times last night. Those three hours of sleep were all I needed. Said no mom. Ever.”
16) “I was breastfeeding my oldest in my living room wearing only a bra and sweats. There was a knock at the door so I got up to answer it with my breast still hanging out of my bra. The UPS guy was shocked and kept looking away. I didn’t even realize what I’d done until hours later.”
“It’s one of those days where even my coffee needs a coffee.”
17) “I got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and was surprised to find I felt warm and wet. Turns out I was so tired that I was peeing on the couch instead of in the toilet. I had literally pulled down my pants, sat down on the couch, and started peeing as if I were on the toilet. I just added that to the list of bodily fluids I had to clean up that night.”
“I’m just so tired.”
18) “When my baby woke up in the middle of the night crying I answered the door thinking it was someone ringing the doorbell.”
“Help me Lord.”
19) “I kept trying to open the front door of my house by pressing the unlock button of my car key.”
“It doesn’t matter…I’m too tired to care.”
20) “I was so tired I forgot our son’s name. I gestured to the monitor and asked my husband, ‘How’s what’s-his-face doing?'”
“I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired. Who needs sleep!”
21) “My oldest wasn’t even two when I had my second child. That first week was a blur. One night I got up to feed the baby and heard snoring as I walked past the kitchen. Turns out I’d forgotten to take the older one out of her high chair and she’d fallen asleep, using her spaghetti as a pillow.”
“Oh, you think you’re going to sleep tonight? That’s cute. Almost as cute as me.”
22) “I walked right up to my husband and put our son’s pacifier into his mouth.”
“Nite nite. Phleep tight.”
23) “After a long night, I had to run to the drug store. I sat at a red light for what seemed like forever — I even swore at a car that honked at me — until I realized it wasn’t a red light. It was a stop sign.”
“I’m tired.”
24) “I kept calling the pediatrician a veterinarian.”
“It isn’t fair.”
25) “After pumping milk at 3 a.m. I walked into the kitchen and dumped it all down the drain. I screamed the second I realized what I did. I’d gone into zombie-cleaning mode without thinking.”
“I need a nap.”
Please share these hilarious confessions from sleep-deprived moms with your friends and family.
