When it comes to the 9 to 5 grind, nothing hits the spot early in the morning like a steaming hot cup of coffee. It’s funny how a liquid potion made from magic beans can bring you back to life in the morning. It’s funny because it’s true! Just a couple of sips and you’re ready to tackle your day no matter what it throws at you. Coffee humor celebrates all of the funny and motivational things we associate coffee with.
If you enjoy coffee as much as I do, I’m sure the following images, quotes, and memes will bring a smile to your face. Enjoy them in the morning while sipping on your coffee and it will only add to the enjoyment.
1) Let the funny coffee humor begin!
“Before coffee. After coffee.”
“Ahhhhh coffee! Nature’s little kiss of goodness.”
3) All you need is funny coffee humor!
“All you need is love! That’s cute.”
“I don’t need an inspirational quote, what I need is a freaking cup of coffee.”
5) And funny coffee humor is free!
“Coffee: Because anger management is too expensive!”
“How are coffee beans like kids? They’re always getting grounded!”
7) Bad day? Here’s some funny coffee humor.
“Bad day? Coffee. Good day? Coffee. Stressed? Coffee. Happy? Coffee. Inspired? Coffee. Coffee? Coffee.”
“Barista: How do you take your coffee? Me: Very, very seriously.”
“Coffee: Because Monday happens every week!”
10) Before and after coffee humor is funny!
“Before coffee. After coffee.”
“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.” – Flash Rosenberg
12) Let it be with funny coffee humor.
“What’s the best Beatles song? Latte Be!”
“Can I call you back in a few cups of coffee?”
“I don’t care if the glass is half full or half empty – is there coffee in it?”
15) Coffee humor is getting serious!
“Coffee. Because murder is wrong.”
“Come to the dark side. We have coffee.”
“When that first cup of coffee touches your soul.”
18) Darkness-free funny coffee humor!
“Hello, darkness my old friend.”
“A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it.”
20) Dear Santa, don’t forget the funny coffee humor!
“Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is…coffee. Sincerely, me.”
“How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.”
22) Funny coffee humor will never go extinct.
“Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.”
“How do I take my coffee? Seriously. Very seriously.”
“How does a tech guy drink coffee? He installs Java!”
25) Funny coffee humor doesn’t get any cuter!
“Donut you want me?”
“I don’t need to drink coffee to be awesome. I’m already awesome. But it’s more fun when I’m awesome and awake.” – Anonymous
“Don’t even ask. Just pour the coffee.”
28) Funny coffee humor when you need a pick me up.
“Don’t ever let anyone tell you fairytales aren’t real. I wake up every morning to drink a potion made from magic beans and it brings me back to life.”
“Coffee makes everything better.”
30) Funny coffee humor that makes you want to live!
“You there! Bring me coffee and I shall let you live…today.”
“How I feel trying to get my first cup of coffee…”
32) Funny coffee humor for Monday mornings.
“The first sip of coffee on a Monday morning.”
“If I don’t get coffee in me things are going to get ugly around here.”
“Give me caffeine.”
35) Even more reasons to enjoy funny coffee humor!
“Hmmmmmm, coffee gives me a mind-boner. Drink more every day!”
“Good morning! Now, where’s the coffee?”
“Hakuna ma’coffee. It means no worries. I’ll just drink coffee for the rest of the day.”
38) Funny coffee humor when you have big decisions to make.
“Half the day, I wonder if it’s too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it’s too early for alcohol.”
40) More before and after funny coffee humor!
“Before coffee: I hate everybody. After coffee: I feel good about hating everybody.”
“I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cup things.”
42) Dreaming of funny coffee humor…
“Hello, coffee. I’ve been dreaming of you all night long.”
“Help me, caffeine. You’re my only hope.”
“How coffee works. Coffee. Magic. Energy.”
45) I need funny coffee humor!
“I need a huge cup of coffee.”
“If you sit down to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, then your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.”
“Insert coffee to continue.”
“Coffee is my friend.”
“What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? Mugging!”
50) Funny coffee humor for the morning impaired.
“Coffee. Jet fuel for the morning impaired.”
“I’m just waiting to see if my coffee chooses to use its power for good or evil.”
“Keep it coming. Last night was ruff.”
“I don’t know where you are, but when I find you, I will drink you.”
“Life without coffee is like me without sleep. Neither are recommended.”
55) You’re awesome for enjoying funny coffee humor!
“Listen, before I had my coffee, I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today, either.”
“If you love somebody, let them go…If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.”
“I made two espressos. One for me and one for me.”
“How coffee makes me feel.”
“Me before coffee. Me after coffee.”
60) Taking over the world with funny coffee humor.
“It’s Monday. I’ve had a pot of coffee. Time to take over the world.”
“Coffee!!! I need more coffee!!!!”
“Before my morning coffee…I might as well be a dog.”
“Coffee! The most important meal of the day.”
65) I need more funny coffee humor!
“I need my coffee or I will be a corpse today.”
“Nine outta the ten voices in my head agree I need more coffee! The tenth one went back to bed.”
“OCD: Obsessive Coffee Disorder.”
“I only need coffee on days ending with Y.”
“I have one cup a day.”
70) Funny coffee humor for those that think BIG!
“Coffee? Only one cup please…”
“Coffee or die.”
“Coffee is ready.”
“Reasons I need coffee: It tastes like hopes and dreams. Caffeine perks me up. Other people talk to me in the morning. Jail is a real thing. It’s hard to work if your eyes are closed. It helps me mimic socially acceptable behavior. Strangers stare if you forget to put on pants.”
“Sleep is a weak substitute for coffee.”
75) And I just want more funny coffee humor!
“Some girls just want to have fun. I just want to drink coffee.”
“…Still not enough.”
“Support your local caffeine dealers.”
“That moment when I realized my coffee pot has a straw holder.”
“The 5 love languages. Affirmation: Your coffee is delicious. Acts of service: I made you coffee. Receiving gifts: Here’s your coffee. Quality time: Let’s go out for coffee. Physical touch: Let me hold you like a coffee.”
80) Coffee humor with a side of funny jokes!
“Why do they call coffee mud? Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.”
“How to summon me on a Monday morning.
“Touch my coffee. I will slap you so hard even Google won’t be able to find you.”
“My trying to flirt: Do you like coffee?”
“A visual representation of me and my friend before our first coffee of the day.”
85) If you’re not a morning person, you’ll relate to funny coffee humor!
“When I wake up in the morning.”
“Loving ways to win my heart. Buy me coffee. Make me coffee. Be coffee.”
“Weekend is loading.”
“What do you call sad coffee? A despresso.”
“When the coffee goes down, the eyelids go up!”
90) Funny coffee humor for the holidays.
“Why are Dasher and Dancer always taking coffee breaks? Because they are my star bucks.”
“I’m worried that if I give up coffee, I’ll take up murder.”
“A yawn is…A silent scream for coffee!”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”
I hope you enjoyed the funny coffee humor!
Please share this funny coffee humor with your friends and family.