57 Coffee Quotes and Sayings to Kickstart Your Morning

Nearly everybody loves to hit the snooze button in the morning but eventually, we have to get up. One thing that kickstarts your morning is a delicious cup of coffee. When you think about it, coffee is a magic elixir that gives us energy when we need it most. For that reason, many people have given the world some amazing coffee quotes to celebrate everybody’s favorite drink.

If you enjoy coffee as much as I do, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the following 57 funny quotes and sayings. Don’t forget to share them with your other coffee-loving friends on social media!

1) Let the coffee quotes and sayings begin!

"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems." - Paul Erdos
storemypic.com

“A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.” – Paul Erdos

2)

"Coffee is always a good idea." - Unknown
Facebook / PixTeller

“Coffee is always a good idea.” – Unknown

3) Inspirational coffee quotes for a better world.

"It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee." - Donna A. Favors
Pinterest

“It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.” – Donna A. Favors

4)

"I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee." - Flash Rosenberg
Pinterest

“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.” – Flash Rosenberg

5) Just like coffee, 57 quotes are better than no quotes at all!

"But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all." - David Lynch
Facebook / DeliBru

“But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.” – David Lynch

6)

"Caffeine and sugar, the two basic food groups." - Laurell K. Hamilton
Pinterest

“Caffeine and sugar, the two basic food groups.” – Laurell K. Hamilton

7)

"Good Coffee - Cheaper than Prozac!" - Unknown
Pinterest

“Good Coffee – Cheaper than Prozac!” – Unknown

8) Short coffee quotes from the World’s Best Boss.

"Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office." - Michael Scott, The Office
idlehearts.com

“Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office.” – Michael Scott, The Office

giphy.com

9)

"Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee." - Unknown
coffeesphere.com

“Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee.” – Unknown

10) Decaffeinated coffee quotes also don’t make decaf coffee right.

"Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat, it exists, but that doesn’t make it right." - Unknown
Pinterest

“Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat, it exists, but that doesn’t make it right.” – Unknown

11)

"Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?" - Jean Kerr
quotetab.com

“Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?” – Jean Kerr

12) Same great coffee quotes. Less filling.

"Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling." - Dave Barry
quoteslyfe.com

“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.” – Dave Barry

13)

"Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another cup of coffee." - Unknown
Pinterest

“Everybody should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another cup of coffee.” – Unknown

14)

"Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries." - Bill Cosby
colorquotes.com

“Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.” – Bill Cosby

15) Coffee quotes and sayings for the favorite drink in the world.

"Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world." - Thomas Jefferson
Pinterest

“Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.” – Thomas Jefferson

16)

"Coffee first. Schemes later." - Leanna Renee Hieber
idlehearts.com

“Coffee first. Schemes later.” – Leanna Renee Hieber

17)

"A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it." - Garrison Keillor
greatesttweets.com

“A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table – There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it.” – Garrison Keillor

18) Stimulating black coffee quotes…

"Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after." - Anne Lindbergh
mypeacefulheart

“Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.” – Anne Lindbergh

19)

"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." - T.S. Eliot
anokatony

“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” – T.S. Eliot

20) Coffee sayings and quotes by Josephine Baker.

"He was my cream, and I was his coffee - And when you poured us together, it was something." - Josephine Baker
Facebook / Cafegraphy

“He was my cream, and I was his coffee – And when you poured us together, it was something.” – Josephine Baker

21)

"Humanity runs on coffee." - Unknown
Pinterest

“Humanity runs on coffee.” – Unknown

22) Start your morning with coffee quotes.

"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon." - Ronald Reagan
Pinterest

“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.” – Ronald Reagan

23)

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." - Abraham Lincoln
statusmind.com

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” – Abraham Lincoln

24)

"Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank." - Alphonse Allais
Facebook / Tommy’s Freshly Roasted Coffee

“Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.” – Alphonse Allais

25) Just don’t judge these coffee quotes and captions.

"I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee." - Burt Lancaster
quotetab.com

“I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.” – Burt Lancaster

26)

"Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future." - Ian Somerhalder
5quotes.info

“Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future.” – Ian Somerhalder

27)

"Coffee is a language in itself." - Jackie Chan
Twitter / @voicetube

“Coffee is a language in itself.” – Jackie Chan

28)

"I like instant gratification. It's like instant coffee, only it won't keep you up at night." - Jarod Kintz
Facebook / Coffee Bruvet

“I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up at night.” – Jarod Kintz

29)

"My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me." - Unknown
Twitter / @koffee_land

“My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.” – Unknown

30) Funny coffee quotes for a civilized world.

"Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical." - Jonathan Swift
Pinterest

“Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.” – Jonathan Swift

31)

"May your coffee kick in before reality does." - Unknown
Pinterest

“May your coffee kick in before reality does.” – Unknown

32)

"I’d never met coffee that wasn’t wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was." - Laurell K. Hamilton
Source

“I’d never met coffee that wasn’t wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.” – Laurell K. Hamilton

33)

"My birthstone is a coffee bean." - Unknown
Pinterest

“My birthstone is a coffee bean.” – Unknown

34)

"Never Underestimate the Importance of Being Properly Caffeinated." - Unknown
Facebook / J.J. Probasco

“Never Underestimate the Importance of Being Properly Caffeinated.” – Unknown

35) Coffee quotes that stand the test of time.

"No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for "Before Coffee"." - Cherise Sinclair, 'Master of the Mountain'
Pinterest

“No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for “Before Coffee”.” – Cherise Sinclair, ‘Master of the Mountain’

Sale
Master of the Mountain (Mountain Masters & Dark Haven) (Volume 1)
  • Sinclair, Cherise (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)
  • 206 Pages - 08/04/2009 (Publication Date) - VanScoy Publishing Group (Publisher)

36)

"Coffee is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your older self." - Terry Pratchett, Thud!
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“Coffee is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your older self.” – Terry Pratchett, Thud!

Thud!: A Novel of Discworld (Discworld, 34)
  • Pratchett, Terry (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)
  • 448 Pages - 10/28/2014 (Publication Date) - Harper (Publisher)

37)

"Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep." - Fran Drescher
Twitter / @chickensoupsoul

“Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.” – Fran Drescher

38)

"I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee." - Terri Guillemets
Pinterest

“I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.” – Terri Guillemets

39)

"Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second." - Edward Abbey, Down the River
quoteslyfe.com

“Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.” – Edward Abbey, Down the River

Down the River
  • Abbey, Edward (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)
  • 242 Pages - 01/30/1991 (Publication Date) - Plume (Publisher)

40) Happy coffee quotes.

"People say money can’t buy happiness. They Lie. Money buys Coffee, Coffee makes Me Happy!" - Unknown
Twitter / @espressoelement

“People say money can’t buy happiness. They Lie. Money buys Coffee, Coffee makes Me Happy!” – Unknown

41)

"The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drank." - Sir James Mackintosh
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“The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drank.” – Sir James Mackintosh

42)

"I’ll quit. It won’t be easy drinking my Baileys straight, but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up." - Megan Mullally
idlehearts.com

“I’ll quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Baileys straight, but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up.” – Megan Mullally

43)

"I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now." - Louisa May Alcott, 'Little Women'
Pinterest

“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.” – Louisa May Alcott, ‘Little Women’

Little Women
  • Alcott, Louisa May (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)
  • 278 Pages - 12/16/2019 (Publication Date) - Independently published (Publisher)

44)

"Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the break." - Earl Wilson
Twitter / @mindtectonica

“Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.” – Earl Wilson

45) Black coffee quotes that will put hair on your chest (not really).

"Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love." - Unknown
communicatingacrossboundariesblog.com

“Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.” – Unknown

46)

"Smells like freshly ground heaven." - Jessi Lane Adams
Twitter / @daiohsmalaysia

“Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.” – Jessi Lane Adams

47)

"I can’t stop drinking. I stop drinking, I stop doing the standing, and the walking and the words-putting-into-sentences doing" - Lorelai Gilmore, 'Gilmore Girls'
Pinterest

“I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing, and the walking and the words-putting-into-sentences doing” – Lorelai Gilmore, ‘Gilmore Girls’

48)

"Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the shop and go to jobs." - Bill Gates
Pinterest

“Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.” – Bill Gates

49)

"The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without." - Unknown
me.me

“The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.” – Unknown

50) You could never have too much coffee quotes.

"Too much. Too much Gatorade. It's a hell of a mix. If you're ever tired in the morning, just try that mix, and tell me what you think." - Kevin Garnett
idlehearts.com

“Too much coffee. Too much coffee and Gatorade. It’s a hell of a mix. If you’re ever tired in the morning, just try that mix, and tell me what you think.” – Kevin Garnett

51)

"I wake up some mornings and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, "Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it"." - Jim Carrey
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“I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, “Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it”.” – Jim Carrey

52)

"Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever." - David Letterman
me.me

“Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” – David Letterman

53)

"We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup." - Jerry Seinfeld
graciousquotes.com

“We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.” – Jerry Seinfeld

54) Oh no! We’ve reached the end of coffee quotes…

"What goes best with a cup? Another cup." - Henry Rollins
Pinterest

“What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.” – Henry Rollins

55)

"When life gives you lemons, trade them." - Unknown
Pinterest

“When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee.” – Unknown

56) Start your morning with coffee quotes.

"Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried–up piece of goat." - Johann Sebastian Bach
Twitter / @MikeConforme

“Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried–up piece of goat.” – Johann Sebastian Bach

57) I hope you enjoyed these coffee quotes and sayings!

"You can’t have a decent food culture without a decent culture: the two things grow up together." - Adam Gopnik
quotetab.com

“You can’t have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together.” – Adam Gopnik

Please share these funny coffee quotes with your friends and family.

Last update on 2021-09-28 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

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