Nearly everybody loves to hit the snooze button in the morning but eventually, we have to get up. One thing that kickstarts your morning is a delicious cup of coffee. When you think about it, coffee is a magic elixir that gives us energy when we need it most. For that reason, many people have given the world some amazing coffee quotes to celebrate everybody’s favorite drink.
If you enjoy coffee as much as I do, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the following 57 funny quotes and sayings. Don’t forget to share them with your other coffee-loving friends on social media!
1) Let the coffee quotes and sayings begin!
“A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.” – Paul Erdos
2)
“Coffee is always a good idea.” – Unknown
3) Inspirational coffee quotes for a better world.
“It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.” – Donna A. Favors
4)
“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.” – Flash Rosenberg
5) Just like coffee, 57 quotes are better than no quotes at all!
“But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.” – David Lynch
6)
“Caffeine and sugar, the two basic food groups.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
7)
“Good Coffee – Cheaper than Prozac!” – Unknown
8) Short coffee quotes from the World’s Best Boss.
“Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office.” – Michael Scott, The Office
9)
“Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee.” – Unknown
10) Decaffeinated coffee quotes also don’t make decaf coffee right.
“Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat, it exists, but that doesn’t make it right.” – Unknown
11)
“Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?” – Jean Kerr
12) Same great coffee quotes. Less filling.
“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.” – Dave Barry
13)
“Everybody should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another cup of coffee.” – Unknown
14)
“Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.” – Bill Cosby
15) Coffee quotes and sayings for the favorite drink in the world.
“Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.” – Thomas Jefferson
16)
“Coffee first. Schemes later.” – Leanna Renee Hieber
17)
“A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table – There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it.” – Garrison Keillor
18) Stimulating black coffee quotes…
“Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.” – Anne Lindbergh
19)
“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” – T.S. Eliot
20) Coffee sayings and quotes by Josephine Baker.
“He was my cream, and I was his coffee – And when you poured us together, it was something.” – Josephine Baker
21)
“Humanity runs on coffee.” – Unknown
22) Start your morning with coffee quotes.
“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.” – Ronald Reagan
23)
“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” – Abraham Lincoln
24)
“Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.” – Alphonse Allais
25) Just don’t judge these coffee quotes and captions.
“I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.” – Burt Lancaster
26)
“Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future.” – Ian Somerhalder
27)
“Coffee is a language in itself.” – Jackie Chan
28)
“I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up at night.” – Jarod Kintz
29)
“My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.” – Unknown
30) Funny coffee quotes for a civilized world.
“Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.” – Jonathan Swift
31)
“May your coffee kick in before reality does.” – Unknown
32)
“I’d never met coffee that wasn’t wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
33)
“My birthstone is a coffee bean.” – Unknown
34)
“Never Underestimate the Importance of Being Properly Caffeinated.” – Unknown
35) Coffee quotes that stand the test of time.
“No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for “Before Coffee”.” – Cherise Sinclair, ‘Master of the Mountain’
- Sinclair, Cherise (Author)
- English (Publication Language)
- 206 Pages - 08/04/2009 (Publication Date) - VanScoy Publishing Group (Publisher)
36)
“Coffee is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your older self.” – Terry Pratchett, Thud!
- Pratchett, Terry (Author)
- English (Publication Language)
- 448 Pages - 10/28/2014 (Publication Date) - Harper (Publisher)
37)
“Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.” – Fran Drescher
38)
“I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.” – Terri Guillemets
39)
“Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.” – Edward Abbey, Down the River
- Abbey, Edward (Author)
- English (Publication Language)
- 242 Pages - 01/30/1991 (Publication Date) - Plume (Publisher)
40) Happy coffee quotes.
“People say money can’t buy happiness. They Lie. Money buys Coffee, Coffee makes Me Happy!” – Unknown
41)
“The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drank.” – Sir James Mackintosh
42)
“I’ll quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Baileys straight, but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up.” – Megan Mullally
43)
“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.” – Louisa May Alcott, ‘Little Women’
- Alcott, Louisa May (Author)
- English (Publication Language)
- 320 Pages - 12/16/2019 (Publication Date) - Independently published (Publisher)
44)
“Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.” – Earl Wilson
45) Black coffee quotes that will put hair on your chest (not really).
“Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.” – Unknown
46)
“Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.” – Jessi Lane Adams
47)
“I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing, and the walking and the words-putting-into-sentences doing” – Lorelai Gilmore, ‘Gilmore Girls’
48)
“Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.” – Bill Gates
49)
“The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.” – Unknown
50) You could never have too much coffee quotes.
“Too much coffee. Too much coffee and Gatorade. It’s a hell of a mix. If you’re ever tired in the morning, just try that mix, and tell me what you think.” – Kevin Garnett
51)
“I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, “Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it”.” – Jim Carrey
52)
“Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” – David Letterman
53)
“We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.” – Jerry Seinfeld
54) Oh no! We’ve reached the end of coffee quotes…
“What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.” – Henry Rollins
55)
“When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee.” – Unknown
56) Start your morning with coffee quotes.
“Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried–up piece of goat.” – Johann Sebastian Bach
57) I hope you enjoyed these coffee quotes and sayings!
“You can’t have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together.” – Adam Gopnik
Please share these funny coffee quotes with your friends and family.
Last update on 2024-05-08 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API
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