Many people feel alone and defenseless when stuck in a bad relationship and sometimes finding the strength can be overwhelming. Brittaney Lynn Shane was in a relationship with someone that always complained about her physical appearance whether it was her weight, hair, or makeup. Her boyfriend also didn’t like her having tattoos or piercings and tried to control every part of her life.
When her boyfriend left her for a “prettier” girl, Brittaney lost all of her self-confidence and blamed herself for everything that led up to that point. But a remarkable thing happened. Instead of falling into a cycle of self-loathing or self-hatred, she took to Facebook to share her story.
“You always told me I didn’t look good with long hair and that you preferred girls with short hair.
So I kept my hair cut above my shoulders at all times.”
“You laughed at me and told me I looked ridiculous when I dyed my hair red when we were together.
So a week later I dyed it back blonde.”
“You would always point out if I was wearing too much makeup. (Winged eyeliner and mascara most of the time)
So I just stopped wearing it.”
“You told me tattoos and piercings were tacky and ugly. And would try to take out my belly button ring every time you saw it.
So I took out my piercings and didn’t get any more tattoos. You pointed out my stretch marks every chance you got.
So I did my best to keep them hidden.”
“You pointed out every time I looked like I had gained weight.
So I started eating less every day. You pointed out every single flaw I had. So I lost every bit of confidence I had.”
“For almost two years you had me convinced that you were out of my league and that I just wasn’t good enough the way I was. I did everything I could to be what you wanted. I did everything you told me to do. It still wasn’t good enough. You left me for a younger prettier girl. Someone you could mold and shape into what you wanted. Like you tried to do with me. And up until a few months ago, I blamed myself for everything that happened. You blamed me too. But finally, I started to see the truth.
You weren’t out of my league. I was out of yours. I wasn’t the one who wasn’t good enough for you. You were the one who wasn’t good enough for me. You couldn’t accept me for who I was. When I took you the way you were. Your many many many flaws and everything else that was there. The only time I ever asked you to change was when I asked you to show me you actually cared about me. Which you never did. So now here I am a few months later. My hair is past my shoulders. My hair is bright red. I’ve got a new tattoo. New piercings. Started wearing makeup again. I eat whatever I want whenever I want and weigh 135 pounds. I still have my stretch marks.”
“And I’ve finally gotten my confidence back. I finally see myself looking back at me when I look in the mirror. Not the girl you had created. You have your life. Your new love. Your side of our story. But you no longer have me. Not in any way, shape, or form. It’s so hard for me to come out about this and admit that I became so vulnerable because of one guy. Something I always said would never happen. It’s humiliating to even think about how low I got. But what gives me the guts to come out about this is the fact that I overcame it and I’m finally back to who I really am.”
Brittaney is an inspiration to anyone who doesn’t feel loved or accepted in a relationship and she rose above it and gained back the confidence she lost. Please share Brittaney’s empowering message and how she found her inner strength and confidence after a bad breakup with your friends and family.
